Friday, January 7, 2011

I Don't Want to Be a Jerk

I had nearly forgotten I had a blog until I saw something that reminded me of it the other day. After many months of no posts, I think it's high time to write again. The new year will hopefully bring with it more consistent blogging than in the past--though time will tell.

What prompted me to write this particular post was something that initially frustrated me a lot today. As I am cooling down and thinking more about it, though, I think it's something from which I can pull useful points.

Something that has long been a pet peeve of mine is the refusal of some people--usually acquaintances--to acknowledge my glance, smile, or even greeting when I pass them in the hall (or more often, on Sheridan Road). To be clear, I feel no need to greet every person I've ever met or had contact with in my life when I see them. If I knew someone the first week of freshman year and then never talked with them since that time, I don't expect that person to jubilantly greet me when we see each other from afar. That would just be weird. But if I clearly know you, and you clearly know me, and I pass within a foot or so of you, and it's clear that you saw me (even if you're pretending that you didn't), and I say "hi" or wave to you and you act as if you are walking alone in a universe where only you exist--well, that's just really obnoxious. No matter how well-intentioned you may be, acting that way makes you look like this:


Today I saw and greeted at least 4 people who ranged from mild acquaintances to a good friend. My friend (who doesn't even attend Northwestern anymore) greeted me cheerfully. That was cool. The other three absolutely ignored me--I think one tried to get away from me, but that's a story for another day. The really weird thing about this is that I've had fairly in-depth conversations with all of these people. I guess that only one of those people very clearly, deliberately ignored my greeting. The other two seemed to ignore me, but I will give them the benefit of the doubt as I should; I've missed people passing by me and greeting me before, too. I want to put others in the best light possible.

But if I see you, and you know me fairly well, and I greet you (I'm not even saying you need to greet me), I'd really be flattered if you said "hi" or nodded back. It's not really that difficult. Also, it's not about me, although I will say it's not exactly enjoyable to be given the cold shoulder. I'm not that emotionally unstable, so you're not going to ruin my life. The bigger issue is that people matter, and even if they're not people that you particularly know well or care for, you should be enough of a human being to acknowledge that other people exist, and that interacting with them is important. That's all. Basic stuff. And if you ever catch me ignoring you or anyone else, please call me out on it. I will be grateful.

When I started getting over my original indignation at being ignored (just another manifestation of my pride's getting in the way of living life beyond the plane of what other people think of me), it struck me that I sometimes am a poor friend in the same ways I'm accusing others of. To a minor degree, I know that sometimes I just lose contact with people I'd like to be keeping up with--virtually ignoring them even though if I happened to see them I'd say "hello."

More importantly, though, I'm guilty of turning the cold shoulder to God. There are days when I sense Him prompting me to take some time off from whatever it is that I'm doing and get in his Word and delight in the relationship I have with Him. This is not just someone who is my acquaintance, it is someone who sacrificed Himself for my life, who loves me eternally and who always wants to be communicating with me. And my decision to put off or downplay the significance of my relationship with Jesus is simply atrocious.

So if you saw me today and tried to avoid me (which is unlikely if you're someone who cares enough to read this blog :D), don't feel badly. You just helped me to make a connection with the ridiculousness of my own behavior toward God sometimes. So, thank you. I needed that.